Absolute Data

“What are you, anyway? Man, woman, something else?”

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“I’m whatever you want me to be, darling.”

 

“That’s not what I asked.”

 

“Is it not?”

 

“I’m asking what you prefer. How do you see yourself?”

 

“I never bothered to find a word for it. It didn’t seem necessary when most of the people I interact with pay to call me all manner of things independent from that.”

 

“Okay, fair ‘nuff. But say…say you were in another line of work altogether. Say you were…I dunno, a teacher. Would the kids call you Mister? Miss?”

 

“They could call me whichever they like.”

 

“You are not making this easy.”

 

“I’m sorry, darling, I’m not trying to be difficult.”

 

“It doesn’t bother you if people call you he or she or anything else?”

 

“Of course not.”

 

“No?”

 

“Should it? There’s nothing wrong with being either of those things. Why would it bother me?”

 

“Well no, I don’t mean that it’s insulting, but like… There’s nothing wrong with being a woman, or feminine, but I’m not a woman and I’m not feminine. I’m just not. So I don’t like to be called one. You know?”

 

“I understand, but I can’t relate.”

 

“Okay. Let me try it this way. What do you want me to call you when I haven’t paid to call you whatever I want?”

 

“Your Highness.”

 

“Oh.”