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Absolute Data


“Wait wait wait wait, you want me to get you what?”

“You heard me, Kadir.”


“The fuck kind of mission you got planned, kid?”


“Let me worry about that.”


“Oh no no no, you’re not getting off the hook that easy. You want me to get you this, you tell me why.”


“Kadir, I do not have time for-”


“What’s the mission, velet?”


Rabi sighed heavily. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation one way or another, but arguing with him would only drag it on even longer. “It is not for a mission.”


“Then what the fuck-…” The realization dawned over him. Rabi could see it past the spray-painted grin on his face. “Ahhhhh…”




“I see…”


“See what?”


The only answer was a low chuckle that grew in pitch and volume until Kadir was positively cackling, bent over and slamming his hand against the desk. Rabi crossed his arms, unimpressed.


“Are you quite finished?”


Kadir bolted upright, puffing his chest out and still snickering despite himself. He clapped his hands together and rubbed them eagerly. “Bitch finally got to ya, huh?”


Rabi’s head leaned back and his antennae stood on-end. “Excuse me?”


Kadir started dancing in place, as though Rabi wasn’t there. “Rabi’s gonna fuck a huuuman, Rabi’s gonna fuck a huuuuman!~”


Righteous indignation surged up in Rabi’s core in record time. “I said no such thing!”


He stopped mid-jam. “No? Then what’s it for?” Rabi’s antennae fell back this time, and his grip tightened on his arms. Kadir shrugged and picked up where he left off. “Rabi’s gonna get a diiiick, and stick it in the meatsack!”


The sync!” he finally snapped, causing Kadir to stop short again. 


“The sync…?”


“Yes. The sync that arrived with her. It is…for him.”


For him? Or for you, with him?”


Rabi looked down at the floor, fingertips threatening to press dents into his armored biceps. “…The latter.”


Kadir screeched and whooped like a rabid monkey, dancing circles around him. “Rabi’s getting laaaaiiid, Rabi’s getting laaaaiiid!”


A swift fist in his face put that nonsense to an end.

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